Resolution Recount

New Year's resolutions make my stomach hurt. I just don't feel up to the task anymore. I've made so many, and kept so few. I don't have any faith in my ability to keep them anymore! Every year I start with the most wonderful intentions. I come up with three or four creative and personal ideas that I want to carry through the year. I can count on one hand the resolutions I've seen through to completion in recent memory. In 2005 I read the Bible through, Genesis to Revelation, in less than a year. In 2006 I invented a job for myself (the best job I've ever had!). And in 2009 I let go of my own strongholds and fears and agreed to pull up stakes and move. But how many years have seen me determine to do something (often involving diet and exercise), only to give up by the second week of February?

Does this sound like I'm giving up on making New Years Resolutions? I'm not. I think, in part, I am too much of a perfectionist. If I don't start on January 1st, I've failed and there are no "redos". That's not what is happening this year. It is January 11th, and I really haven't gotten much of a start on any of my resolutions, but that's okay. I can start now. I can start next week. As long as I determine to start! So, here goes. Here is the 2012 list.

1. No more buying books. This is the only one that I have actually started already. I've encountered a number of gasps when I tell people this. It seems buying books is a very intrinsic component of my personality, and few of my friends actually think I'll be able to follow through. I do allow a couple of exceptions: a) I can download books to my Kobo if I have a gift card (and I do have a couple of gift cards handy in case I go into withdrawal), and b) I can use credit at the used bookstore, meaning I have to get rid of books to get books. Hopefully those two caveats will carry me through a year of no book buying. My sister-in-law is already playing devil's advocate trying to trick me into buying something, but I'm onto her game. Clearly I have more than enough books on my shelves and my Kobo to carry me through a year without adding to them. I'm actually curious to see how many of them I can get through this year. I think it might be fun!
2. Diet and excercise. I don't think I really need to expand on this one. It is as distasteful to talk about as it is to do. But I'm going to do it. The virtue I am teaching this month in Sunday School is self-control, so I should be ready to go by the end of the month! I made it through an entire evening without a snack last night, even while sitting next to my snacking husband on the couch (Don't think I didn't give him guilt for it!). I am armed with a new Jillian Michaels exercise video. I haven't tried it yet, but I shelled out ten bucks for it, so I am determined to use it. Starting tomorrow.
3. Writing more. I guess I could go to extemes and say I'm going to blog every day, or every school day. I've done that before. But blogging isn't the only writing I'm planning on doing, so I don't want to commit to that. I will blog more. In fact, a mini-resolution is to write more than 65 blog posts (my 2011 number) in 2012, and maybe even beat my 2010 number of 139, which is basically three a week, and that's my goal anyway. But this post actually grew out of a fun writing exercise I tried, so maybe it will all sort of grow together. Who knows? I guess I'm starting this one today.
4. Finding my path. I almost didn't write this one down, since it sounds kind of airy-fairy and hippie-dippie, but it is a pretty important one. At the beginning of 2012 I find myself at a place where I have no idea what I want to do when I grow up. Okay, so that's not completely true; I know I want to teach, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards, at least not at the public school level. So it's time to branch out my search and see what is out there that could turn into a career for me. We really can't afford the luxury of me staying home forever. This was supposed to be the time in our lives when we become a two income family. So I guess it's time for me to figure out where that second income is going to come from. Time to send Connor out to work, I guess! *hahaha*

So there we are, four resolutions. Nothing too terribly daunting (except that second one, ugh. Good thing I have an awesome FB support group! Hang tough, girls!). If anyone has any tried and true "resolution keeping" advice, I'd be happy to hear it. I know I've kept resolutions before, and I know I can again if I really try! And if you have made any resolutions of your own, let me know and we can keep each other accountable. Happy New Year! Starting today!

A Long Break

I was ready to sit down and finally write a blog post today about the most exciting thing that has happened since I last posted — our trip to Mexico. I even had a good deal of it composed in my head already. But when my fingers hit the keyboard, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that it has been a whole month and a half since I last added anything to my blog. Six weeks! And no blogging at all!

First I thought about how sad that is. This blog is supposed to be pretty important to me, and I've just IGNORED it for 6 weeks! I supposedly love writing and recording thoughts, sharing my life with my readers, and I haven't even once sat down at my computer with the intention of blogging. Shameful! It wasn't that I didn't have plenty to say. Mexico alone could fill several posts if I allowed it! There was also the visit from my parents, the suspenseful story of my ear problems prior to our trip, our lawn woes, new trees we bought for our property, finally ordering a shed, Connor's first tooth extraction, the progress we've made on our basement, and plans for our summer vacation. I've had plenty of ideas. What I have lacked is time.

I am volunteering at the school at least three mornings a week now: two mornings in Janelle's class and one in a Kindergarten class. I love being there. It fills something in me that I just don't get anywhere else. It is building a longing in me to go back to work that I haven't felt in years. I am so ready to be teaching again! I just hope I am doing the right things to make that happen! Volunteering, watching job postings, and spending significant time in prayer over the matter — I guess that's really all I can do.

I also try to spend at least one day a week with a friend. Shopping, going for a walk, having lunch, whatever. It is so nice to be able to say that I can do that again! I have friends here! A year ago I was despairing that it would ever happen! And as always, I have a home and a family to take care of, and that does take a good portion of my time. So blogging has fallen by the wayside, but only temporarily. I am determined to make it a priority once again.

The difference between now and a year ago, however, is that now my blog is only one of many priorities. A year ago I sent my husband to work and my children to school and looked forward to a long, empty day ahead, seeing my blog as a joyful refuge in an otherwise lonely day. Now I have to find time to fit it into my fairly busy schedule. That is a good thing! It means I have a life here, and that is something to shout about!

So I've taken a long break, but I'm back. I'll be here to write about our trip to Mexico tomorrow, and how a second honeymoon can in some ways be even better than the first. I'll post pictures of the improvements to our yard, and I'll share about my children's daily adventures. But if I do disappear for a bit, don't give up on me. I'm a busy mom, and sometimes life gets in the way of simple pleasures like writing, but I'll always be back.

See you tomorrow!

Inspiration?

Nearly two whole weeks without posting on my blog is unforgivable! But I plead for forgiveness anyway. I have had a couple of busy weeks, but I won't try to list all my mundane comings and goings to explain away my absence. Really, I think the problem is a lack of inspiration. I did better in November when I was writing every day. Now, when I sit down at my computer and try to develop an idea I get discouraged. Have I exhausted all my ideas? I know I have two very inspiring kids to write about, but I also know that no one wants to read stories about my kids every day. So what to write about today?

It really is a problem I've struggled with for years. I love writing. I always have. There is nothing I love more than writing something I'm really proud of. Coming up with an idea, getting in down on paper, tweaking it, crafting it, watching it take on a life of its own. I would love to write for a living. I always thought I would write a novel one day. The problem is, I just don't think I have a story in me. I've looked for it, I've prayed about it, but try as I might, I just can't seem to bring a really good story out of my limited imagination. I remember thinking that once I had kids I would find a million things to write about, and I do love to write about Connor and Janelle, but it hasn't led to the Great Canadian Novel. Not yet, at least.

I do come up with ideas in the middle of the night. When I'm lying awake, struggling to sleep, I have great blog post ideas. I even woke up from a dream one time with a full outline of a novel in my head (I must have been reading Twilight at the time). I really should keep a notebook by my bed, because by morning those great ideas are always gone, drifted away with my dreams.

Actually, keeping a notebook with me isn't a bad idea. Surely I could jot down at least one or two great ideas a day. Chris is always tossing subjects for blog posts into the air. I could steal some of his ideas! I am going to try to do better. I just need to take my inspiration from everything I do. It's my life I'm writing about. I shouldn't judge whether or not my life is worth reading. I need to get back to three posts a week. That's the goal. Starting next week.

And if anyone has any great ideas for the Great Canadian Novel, let me know, okay?

NaBloPoMo Victory!!!

I did it! This is my 30th post in 30 days! I really can't believe how fast this month flew by. And writing every day really wasn't that difficult. I actually began to look forward to it. I found myself laying in bed at night thinking of what I was going to write the next day. Or driving in my car dreaming up my next post. I'm really quite proud of myself. Last year this time I struggled to manage three posts a month, let alone 30!

This month has been a great time to find new blogs and get to know some new bloggers. I even managed to inspire a few wannabe-bloggers to join me, and I'm happy to say that they were successful, too! Every day I looked forward to seeing what all my cyber-friends had to say. I will still be popping in to check out their blogs, but I'm a little bit sad that I won't have the assurance that there will be something new for me to read every day. Oh well, now that I have so many new friends to follow, surely I'll be able to find something new to inspire me daily. But I may not be so tied to my computer following everyone as I have been lately.

I really want to thank everyone who has faithfully followed my blog, checking out the view from my window, as I've been travelling this journey. Those of you who have commented on the blog, or even emailed me your comments, have been so encouraging. It is so much harder to procrastinate when I know there are people waiting to see what I have to say!

So I may not blog tomorrow. But then again, I might! I've learned that coming up with something to say really isn't that difficult. It's just a matter of sitting back and allowing inspiration to take hold. And I'm sure there will be plenty of inspiration available in December!

Peanut Butter and Cranberry Juice

My mind is on a long list of to-do items today (it's Tuesday, right?), so I've been a bit scattered when it comes to landing an idea for a blog post. I considered a number of different subjects, and cast them aside because I knew my brain can only handle so much this morning while I contemplate all I have to do.

I could write about the progress I made on my armoire yesterday, and casually mention the BIG MISTAKE I made that will require sanding down the edges of the upper doors and restaining and varnishing them (ugh -- makes me sick to think about it).

I could talk about how I'm starting to panic because Christmas is just over 6 weeks away, which means the kids have only 5 weeks left of school, and I've barely started Christmas shopping.

I could share my packing list for my getaway weekend in Toronto. I still have to find that pair of shoes hiding somewhere in my closet, and I don't have a clue what I'm going to wear to dinner Friday night...

I could comment on the challenge of motivating a child to practice piano on a daily basis. She loves practicing, but she wants to practice what she wants to play, not necessarily what her teacher has suggested. And I can't seem to remember to remind her to practice anyway!

I could choose a random memory or friend to honour today, which I think is a very nice idea, but I just don't have the time today to give that kind of post the thought and respect it deserves.

So I'm filing those ideas away for another day. Today I am just going to share something that made me smile this morning as I was rushing around getting everyone ready to get out the door. Chris used to jot down cute things that the kids said in his Palm Pilot. There's another blog post -- I need to find that list and use it! I thought Janelle's comment this morning was worth recording for posterity.

I had just made her breakfast of peanut butter on half a bagel and a glass of cranberry juice. She sat down and took one bite and a drink of her juice. Janelle can be extremely expressive when she wants to be, but she isn't usually quite so impressed by her breakfast as she was today. Her eyes immediately closed and she said "Mmmmmm, Mommy! That is sooooooo yummy!!! The peanut butter really sucks up the flavour of the cranberry juice! Sooooooo deeeeeee-licious!" The peanut butter sucks up the flavour of the cranberry juice? I guess I never thought of that. She does have a way with words. Maybe she'll be the writer in the family. Or maybe the chef, who recognizes when one food "sucks up the flavour" of another one. She's going to be something anyway.

Maybe you had to be there, but I just thought it was cute enough to make my blog today. Now I'm off to work on the armoire and maybe do some Christmas shopping and find those shoes to pack and decide what to wear Friday night, before I come home and make Janelle practice her piano lesson. And I'm going to think about my blog post for tomorrow.

Maybe not EVERY day!

So you may have noticed that this fall I'm not making a huge effort to write every single school day. That's because I actually do have some days that are kind of busy, believe it or not. Like yesterday when I had Jocelyn and Tina and their babies over for a visit. Or today, when Chris stayed home from work to get some things done before he heads to Halifax for a conference. Life happens, and sometimes my blog gets ignored. And that's okay.

For me the problem is that I'm sometimes kind of an "all or nothing" kind of girl. I'm a little bit afraid that if I don't make it imperitive that I write every day, I won't write at all. So, for that reason, in my head, it's still an every day challenge, with a few misses forgiven now and then. I remember last year, when I first started the blog, Denise asked me to make three posts a week my goal. I almost never succeeded, and three posts a months was a pretty big deal. Part of me wants to say I'm scaling back to the goal of three posts a week, but I think if I do that I might just get out of the habit of sitting down every day and letting my juices flow. So the goal is still five posts a week. I'll keep trying....

But maybe not every day...

Great Expectations

I need to start off this post by apologizing to my brilliant husband. My last post implied that he didn't know exactly what he was doing when he challenged me to write every day. How I underestimated him! Of course his main goal was to get me in the habit of writing, so much that I would be hooked by the time summer came. I think he is still holding out hopes that I'll be a published author someday, and he knows that writers need to write. It was all part of his master plan. Congratulations and thank you, Chris! You tricked me into it!

School is officially over for the year! The kids arrived home yesterday with big smiles, full back packs, and great report cards. Connor received a "Math Master" award and Janelle was given an award for "Most Cooperative". Once again, they were both beaming with pride when they showed me their awards. There is something so magical and promising about the last day of school. The air is absolutely electric. I have loved the feeling for over 30 years! Freedom! Nearly 10 weeks of possibility stretching out ahead of us.

I always start the summer excited! It is my very favourite time of year. The slower pace, fewer demands on my time, sunny days, family events. I love summer. The kids are playing at the playground and I am dreaming up ways to squeeze every ounce of enjoyment out of this precious season. Today started off on the right foot: I didn't get out of bed until after 9 a.m. Lots more days like that are sure to come. Our four-week trip to New Brunswick will dominate the middle of the summer. Four weeks sounds like a lot, but I know it will FLY by! Between visiting friends and family in Fredericton and Saint John and enjoying lazy days at Tracy's cottage, I know the time will disappear way too fast. I'm also counting on beach time here in Ontario, maybe a visit to African Lion Safari or Canada's Wonderland, rainy day trips to the library, a sunny day visit to Storybook Gardens, maybe a family bbq in Toronto, and lots of time reading one of the many books I have stacked and waiting (now that's another post waiting to be written). And of course there is still that basement we have to get finished.... Summer.

I know that nine weeks from now I'll be realizing there are only a few precious days left, and we didn't accomplish nearly as much as we had hoped. But as long as I am intentional about making summer days their very best, I know many of my great expectations will be realized. Now Connor is off to a friend's house to enjoy the pool, and I can hear Janelle and her friend Avery laughing outside my window. We're off to a great start!

Success!!!

I met the challenge! I have added a post to my blog for every day the kids have been in school since we moved to London. They haven't all been works of art, but that wasn't the point. I think I was mistaken about what the point of Chris's challenge was. I don't think even he knew what the importance of what he was asking me to do would be. He thought he was giving me a project, something to keep my mind on in this new city while I was home alone. That worked. It was a success. But more importantly, I was successful in getting hooked on writing again. I can't imagine stopping.

This blog has been a wonderful way to keep in touch with so many different people. There are people in several different provinces and states reading it; people I talk to regularly and people I hardly know; people at my stage of life and people with whom I have nothing in common. Some leave comments, some have signed up as followers. Some occasionally send me an email or Facebook message to let me know they appreciate the blog. My most devoted follower has to be my mom. She lets me know that she notices if I haven't posted anything before 3 o'clock in the afternoon! I have other friends that I have hardly talked to in years, with whom I have been able to reconnect through this blog. I love that I can just put my thoughts out there every day and somebody back home is going to read them. Somebody back home is going to know what I'm thinking or feeling that particular day. The ones back home that I miss so much can still be part of our daily life because I can share it with them so easily.

When I was in university I wrote constantly. Nothing was real unless it was recorded in my journal. Those journals were not for public consumption. In fact, I went back and read them last year, and I don't even think they are for my consumption anymore! My writing was very personal, very private. I still want to write to preserve the thoughts and feelings I have today for the future. But now I also want to write to make a connection with people. I am writing for me, because it brings something alive in me that is really powerful and freeing, but now I am also writing because it can bring me into people's lives on an ordinary day and we can share something. I love it.

So today is the last day of the challenge. But today is clearly not the last day of the blog. I still want to open up my window on this journey and share the view. It's the last day of school, so it will not be as easy. I won't have regular alone time to reflect and ponder what I'm going to record each day. But I'm hoping I'll still be able to manage 3 days a week. It may be more difficult when I'm on vacation in NB. I won't have regular access to a computer, and I'll be far too busy, either visiting with friends and family or soaking up the sun with a good book. But I'll be back. I promise.

Tomorrow I'll write about my kids' last day of school, report cards, vacation excitement. Today I just have to add one photo, of the poem Janelle wrote on the card she made for her teacher. I hope you can make out what she wrote. I think we may have another budding writer in the family!

9 More Days

 I just realized that I only have 9 more school days this year. Usually I am looking forward to the end of the year, since usually it means summer vacation for me. However, I have enjoyed having a little time to myself this year, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to make every day about entertaining the kids! I know I'll enjoy not having to rush in the morning. No more packing lunches. No more fighting about homework. But no more quiet mornings with a book, either.

I'm spoiled, I know. But I recognize how lucky I've been this year! I know most people don't get to enjoy a quiet breakfast in an empty house. Last year, if I had wanted a quiet breakfast I would have had to get up at 5:30 (which, if you know me, is nearly impossible!) But once you get spoiled, it gets pretty hard to give it up!

I am going to treasure the next 9 school days, and make sure I make the most of them. Actually, I only have seven days since I'll be spending 2 of them on school field trips! I'll read lots, shop lots, write lots. Which brings me to another question. What happens to my blog at the end of the school year? I have nearly fulfilled my end of the challenge. I have written blogs for every school day since the kids started class here in London. Do I keep going when I don't have a quiet house to write in? Actually, I don't think I could stop. It started as something to keep me busy, but it has become such a wonderful way to keep in touch with so many people! I may cut down to three or four times a week, but I will definitely keep writing.

And if I do stop, somebody kick me in the butt to get me going again, okay?

Rainy Day Blues

I hate the way a rainy, dreary day saps me of all energy. There are so many things I could be doing on a sunny day that would energize me. I could go for a walk. I could start digging in my yard. I could go to the local garden centre and do some more dreaming about the beds I am going to put in as soon as it stops raining.

Even on a rainy day like today I could do the laundry. I could rearrange furniture and think about how to set up my new living room. I could tap into my creative side and write a review of the book I finished last week.

But on this gloomy, dreary day I don't feel like doing any of that. I do feel like curling up next to the fireplace with a good book. Not very productive, and it would inevitably lead to a nap. But it would be cozy.

And the laundry will wait until tomorrow.

Time to Get Lost

For the first time since I started Chris's challenge, I really don't feel like writing today. Maybe it's because it's a beautiful day and I'd rather get out for a walk. Maybe it's because I know I have a pile of forgotten mail to go through, so I can find out which bills I'm unintentionally ignoring. Perhaps it's because I know that I need to get to the store today to get ready to play "Easter Bunny" on the weekend. Or it could be because of my strong desire to get back to those last few unopened boxes (Ha -- no one said the blog couldn't be funny!)

All good reasons. But not the right ones.

I love books. Anyone who knows me knows this. One of my very favourite things in life is to curl up in a corner and get lost in a good book. For the past two months I haven't had time. Sure, I've done some reading before I fall asleep at night, or even a couple of times in my new jacuzzi. I even finished a book the other day. But I haven't had the "I love this book so much I can't put it down, and I am going to just sit here and do nothing but read for a couple of hours" experience. Since we've moved here, I haven't let myself have that experience. There is WAY too much to do to settle in with a book, and I didn't want Chris or the kids to come home and say "So what exactly did you do today anyway?"

Writing, however, is allowed. Because of the challenge. I feel obligated to add to this blog daily, no matter how much time it steals from other worthy tasks. So I have poured myself into it. But not today. Today, the blog gets 10 minutes. That's it.

Why? Because I started a new book yesterday, and I think it's one I could get lost in. So I will do all the things that I mentioned above, that really need to be done today. But for the next 45 minutes I am heading back in time several hundred years. I'll set a timer to make sure I find my way back to the 21st century.

But meanwhile, don't call. They didn't have phones back then, so I won't answer.

First Week Down!

We survived! I spent so much time worrying about how the kids would manage at school, how I'd manage at home without them, how Chris would settle into his new office, and how we'd all settle into our new routine, and here we are at the end of the first week. We all did great! Surprisingly, Chris has probably had the most painful transition, primarily due to a project deadline at the end of March that he is dealing with, leftover from back in NB. My kids act as if they've always attended their new school, aside from Connor's comment about the fact that they don't have Phys. Ed. specialists here ("Regular teachers don't do fun stuff in gym" -- As a "regular teacher" who used to have to teach Phys. Ed. to my class, I completely agree with him!). And I have filled my days with some settling in, some exploring, and lots of blogging.

Yes, it's official! I blogged every school day this week! And it doesn't seem that hard at all. I look forward to it. I still don't think I have anything profound to say, and I really feel sorry for my readers who have committed to reading every post. Please feel free to skip the boring ones! But it is an outlet, a release, and I don't think I'll have any problem meeting Chris's challenge. I remember when Denise suggested that I "aim for two posts a week", and I thought that would be nigh to impossible. I may have trouble scaling back to two posts a week someday!

So we have all survived this week, and now we all get a treat. A weekend away! This afternoon we will pick up the kids at school and head to Burlington, where Chris and Connor will pick up Uncle Ben and head into Toronto to the Air Canada Centre for a Raptors Game. It is Chris's big 40th birthday present, but I think Connor is more excited than he is! Well, they're both pretty excited. Janelle and I are going to spend a "girls evening" with Aunt Lori. Tomorrow, we're going to Toronto to do some "touristy stuff". If it is a clear day, which it looks like it will be, we'll go up the CN Tower. We may also take in the Hockey Hall of Fame or the Ontario Science Centre. Tomorrow night, Lori is hosting a birthday party for various people with March or April birthdays, including Chris, Ben and his twin brother Pat, and herself. Connor and Janelle will be the only kids there, but I'm sure they'll be happy to entertain the adults until bedtime. Sunday morning we'll get up and have breakfast and head back home.

I am so looking forward to a weekend away from the cluttered disarray that is my house! Hopefully when I get back home I'll be energized and ready to tackle the rest of it. I need to dig out my spare room and get a bed set up so I can have company. I'm starting to feel like it's time for friends and family to start showing up at our doorstep. Any takers?