Heading Home

Over the past year the meaning of the word "home" has become a bit fuzzy to me. Whenever I mentioned "back home" in conversation, everyone knew I meant "back east". But when I put my kids to bed at night, we would say bedtime prayers thanking God for our beautiful home. Which was it? Where is my home? This past couple of weeks I've been able to bring it into focus a bit.

I'm in New Brunswick, the place I have immediately and without hesitation called home for most of my life. Our drive here was successful, and most importantly, completely uneventful. The first day we drove 11 hours and stopped in Levis, PQ, and I rewarded my awesome co-pilots with a hotel with a pool. We all went to bed early and were in the car again at 7:24 a.m., ready for the last leg of the journey. By early afternoon, we arrived for a visit at Nana's, and by 5:15 we had arrived at my parents house in Rothesay. HOME!

We've been "home" 10 days now. We've spent some time in the Saint John area, some time at the cottage in Cambridge-Narrows, and took a day trip to Fredericton last week. Tomorrow we'll go back to the cottage, and then spend a few more days in Freddy. It is as beautiful here as ever; my favourite place in the world. We've enjoyed visits with friends and family. The kids have loved connecting with their cousins, and I've relished the time with my family. But one thing has become abundantly clear to me on this trip. This is not my home. One thing is glaringly absent, making it impossible for this place to fit my definition of home. My husband isn't here. He is in London. So London is home.

I underestimated how much I was going to miss Chris in the two and a half weeks we planned to be apart. It began to become apparent in the few days leading up to our departure. I wasn't looking forward to leaving nearly as much as I had last year. I thought it was because I was nervous about the drive, but when Chris mentioned how we wouldn't see each other for most of July I realized I wasn't looking forward to spending such a large chunk of my summer without him. Thank goodness for technology, because my texting skills have grown by leaps and bounds in the past week! I miss sharing my days with my husband. He knows me and understands me like no one else does, and I appreciate him in a whole new way now. I love my family, but he is the most important part of my family. Home is where he is, and that is absolutely the way it's supposed to be.

I'm sure when Chris arrives next Saturday I'm going to be completely content to be in New Brunswick, and saying goodbye to this place and all my loved ones in it a week later will be just as difficult as ever. I will miss my dear friends and family and look forward to visits from them, and another trip "home" next summer. But I'm also pretty sure about something else. In two weeks, when we get in the car to begin that long journey back to Ontario, I'm not going to be confused about where I'm going. I'll be heading home.

Community Spirit

We live in a great little part of our city. Until an amalgamation several years ago, Lambeth was a small town outside London. I love that! London isn't a huge city, but it is so much bigger than anywhere that I have ever lived. I feel far more at home in a small town than a big city. The people here have known each other forever. I met a woman last spring whose entire family of five brothers and sisters still live in Lambeth. Natives of this area would tell you they are from Lambeth, NOT from London. It reminds me very much of Marysville, our adopted neighbourhood in Fredericton, and I think that's one of the reasons I was so happy that we found this community. We have our own grocery store, banks, pharmacy, dentists, diner, candy store, soccer fields, ball fields, library, arena and community centre, all a quick walk from our house. Within a five minute drive I can get to all kinds of U-Pick farms and orchards. I really never need to leave my little corner of the city, and I can fool myself into thinking that I don't live in a big city at all.

Until last week, there were two public schools in Lambeth: A.E. Duffield and M.B. McEachern. Now there is one school that all students from JK to Grade 8 attend: Lambeth Public School. On Friday, the "Lambeth Flyers" hockey team provided lunch and school t-shirts to every student in the school. It was quite a celebration, and just in time for the Lambeth Harvest Festival, which was held all weekend. Students were all encouraged to wear their school t-shirts to the Festival Parade on Saturday, and Connor and Janelle did so with pride!

We really didn't participate in the Harvest Festival a whole lot. We went to the parade and the hot dog lunch and the yard sale and the craft sale. I was a bit distracted by the new furniture I wanted to buy (more about that later), and we were happy to have Aunt Lori visiting on Saturday, and yesterday we were busy with church and the church barbecue in the afternoon. We didn't check out the fun fair or the adult dance or the baked bean dinner, or countless other Lambeth Harvest Festival traditions. But we did get a taste of what it means to be a part of this great little community. Last night as we watched the fireworks over the soccer field, with most of our neighbours sitting on lawn chairs in front of us, I was filled with a sense of gratitude and peace. I am so thankful that this is where we have found ourselves, where God has led us, and that our family can be part of this close-knit community, even though we are far from home.

Mom's Room

Since we moved into this house, the front room has been a bit of a puzzle for me. First it was going to be an office. That worked for a while, but in the end we mutually decided that the mess that our office inevitably becomes is not the first thing we want people to see when they come in our front door. Then, through months of indecision, the room organically became the junk room, the place where everything that didn't have a home yet fell in piles all over the room. I knew that wouldn't last forever, but wasn't sure how to move forward. Was it a dining room? Seemed like a waste considering how infrequently we would use a formal dining room. But we do have Chris's grandmother's table that needs a home. Was it a living room? I liked the idea, but we already have a family room off the kitchen and are building another in the basement. Do we really need three living spaces? Then I started thinking, what about a hybrid of the two? The table folds down and doesn't take up much space. I've always wanted a cabinet to display my beautiful but rarely used china. Both of those would work in a dining area. But I would also love to have a sitting room that is free of technology: no tv, no video games, not even a stereo. I decided that with a little work, and a little furniture, I could combine the two.

I started with a china cabinet that I found on Kijiji. I really wasn't even looking for one, but rather researching what to charge if I decide to sell my family room furniture. But when I saw it I knew we were made for each other. We headed out to look at it an hour after it had been posted. Chris did a bit of work to fix it up like new before we even took it out of the van. Once I had it in the room and filled, it looked like it had been destined to house my china. I loved it. And I was hooked.

The same day we went shopping for a couple of chairs for that room. I walked into one store and fell in love with the first piece I saw. But my heart broke when I saw the price. I spent the next few hours trying to get over my love affair with that chair and fall for something else. No deal. Then I started bargaining with myself. If I found a second chair really cheap, I could afford to buy the first chair. The hunt was on!

It took two days, but I found it. A floor model, going out of stock, just the right colour, about half the price that I was even hoping for! I took it home the same day, and went back to the original store to order the chair that was my true love. It arrived on Friday, just in time for the Moores' visit. Ellen and I enjoyed many cozy chats in my new sitting room. She also helped me find the large print for the wall that really finished the room beautifully. For now... A second hand piano and a print of the Fredericton waterfront are two items that are still on my wish list.

So now I have a sunny living room/dining room. We've used it for both already. Sunday the Moores were here and the Lambiers stopped in on their way home from church. We had plenty of food so we convinced them to stay. The kids ate in the kitchen, at what became the buffet table, and the adults (and baby Ellie) enjoyed Chris's grandmother's table in the "dining room". It was perfect! And it served a double purpose that night when it housed a rousing game of Wizard (which I won easily, of course!)

I love my "new room". I love its many purposes. But now that the kids are in school, my favourite thing about it is the way the morning sun streams through the picture window over my shoulder as I sit in my beautiful new recliner and read. I don't think anyone would dispute that it is "Mom's special spot".

And most importantly, it's leading me to finally begin to fall in love with my London house.

Serenity

I worked hard today, dreaming of creating a little piece of serenity.

I fixed my little garden.

I created a little oasis for me and my book.

Three months ago we moved into a house that didn't have much personality.

Now, with a few flowers and cozy spots, it looks like a home.

I think I may be able to find a little serenity in this tiny corner of my world.

But not until after bedtime...

The Challenge

Here's the challenge, proposed to Leanne by Chris: Add to my blog every school day from now until the end of June. If I miss a day, I must write an extra entry the next day explaining why I missed that day. I'm sure he came up with this as a way to add some purpose to my days now that the kids are off to school and he's off to work and I am left here at the house, lonely and surrounded by boxes. He knows I can't survive if my only goal in life is to unpack more boxes! He also wants me to get into the habit of writing. Fifteen years ago, I couldn't get by a single day without writing something. And I'd like to get back there, too. So I think I'm up for the challenge. Here goes!

I'm certainly up for the challenge today. I've just dropped my kids off at their new school for the first time, and I'm full of nervous energy to expend. Janelle will be fine. She is excited about her new classroom, her new teacher and her new friends. It's all an adventure to her. "New" is exciting for her. Connor, on the other hand, is a sensitive soul. He worries. He tries to be brave, but I know he is thinking about how he'll manage in this new environment. How he'll adjust to his new surroundings. How he'll make it to the bathroom in time from a portable classroom. "New" is scary to him. He is so like me!!! So now here I am, counting down the minutes until 3:30 when I can go pick them up and hear the news of the day and find out that everything was fine for both of them. That is exactly 4 hours and 59 minutes away. And I don't think unpacking boxes is going to keep my mind occupied quite enough to make the time fly by any faster. So I write.

In my last post I listed, in great detail, all the pitfalls of our move to London. Now that our "Supersize March Break" (Week 1 NB March Break, Week 2 Moving Week, Week 3 Ontario March Break) is over, I'm thinking back on all the fun things we did. It seemed to fly by, but looking back, some of the things we did at the beginning seem so long ago now! Like our "Going Away Party" that our wonderful friends Merry-Lynne and Randy hosted for us. It was an "open house", so people could just drop by to offer best wishes at any time. It was a nice chance for us to spend some time with so many of our dear friends. I miss them so much already! I love that we got to spend the past several years raising our children with others going through many of the same things that we were experiencing, and that our children became fast friends, too. One of the things I am grappling with now is how long it takes to form those friendships, the ones that feel like family, that are so free and easy. I know it will take some time for London to feel like home in that sense. But I also know that when I go home this summer, those friends I left behind will still be there, and our friendships with them will be the same as ever.

The first week of March Break, we did spend some time in Rothesay/Quispamsis, with the Constantine clan. My kids love being there. They adore their grandparents and their cousins. One of my favourite things about this time of my life is how close Connor and Janelle are to their cousins. I pray that distance cannot change that! Connor doesn't have a brother, and Janelle doesn't have a sister, but they have cousins who are the next best thing. My sister and I drove each other crazy growing up, but I wouldn't trade her for the world now. I want Jillian and Janelle to be that for each other someday. They certainly fill their roles beautifully now!

The second week of March Break was "Moving Week". The drive was not nearly the challenge we expected it to be. We purchased dual screen DVD players for the van the day before we left. These were a godsend! The best thing about them was that the kids could each watch their own movie, at the same time. No fighting over what to watch! Hours flew by with the kids wearing headphones, happily engrossed in their movies, or playing their DS. Chris and I actually had time to talk to each other, and we made very few stops along the way. We spent the first night in Montreal and saw Aunt Kate and Uncle Pierre and Madeleine and Remi. Maddie just loved Janelle! It was so much fun to watch them play together. The second night we stopped in Burlington to spend the night with Aunt Lori and Uncle Ben. Connor vaguely remembered their house from his last visit, seven years ago, but it was Janelle's first time there (outside the womb, that is). They were both thrilled to be there. Then it was on to London. And the "totally cool" hotel. I have to admit, Chris did a great job choosing this hotel. The pool was perfect! Connor thoroughly enjoyed the lighthouse/waterslide, and Janelle got to spend hours doing one of her favourite things: SWIM! It certainly made the three days in London before we moved into our house a treat.

Moving day is always exciting, although thoroughly exhausting. The highlight for Chris and I was seeing how happy the kids were with their new house. They assured us that we chose the right one. Thankfully, the weather improved tremendously during Week Three of March Break, and they were able to get out on their bikes (after we finally found the helmets) and explore their new neighbourhood. We hardly saw them, except for the occasional meal. They made a few friends down the street, which I'm hoping will help them today as they adjust to their new school.

We did do a bit of exploring as a family, as well. Despite a million boxes to unpack, and Chris's relentlessly goal-oriented nature, I was able to convince him to get out of the house a couple of times and see what this new city has to offer. The first day we found a park along the Thames River (yes, a city called London with a river called Thames -- corny!) and hoisted the Spider-Man kite into the air. That was a big hit with the kids. And we big kids enjoyed it, too!

Another day we ventured out to the London Children's Museum. The kids loved it, but it was a ZOO! Not literally, of course, it is a perfectly nice museum, complete with dinosaur bones and moon rocks, but on March Break it was full of wild, rowdy, excited, enthusiastic kids who had been lacking structure for several days. My kids joined right in with them, and it didn't bother me much, but my poor husband was out of his element. He was trying to get Connor to focus his attention on the giant humpback whale skeleton hanging from the ceiling, and Connor was looking in every direction but where Chris was pointing. There was so much to look at and take in, that I think it will take a few more trips before the kids have really seen all the museum has to offer. We might not take Dad next time though! Janelle's favourite part of the museum was the Face Painting that was specially offered that day as a March Break treat. She LOVES having her face painted, and even though the line-up was nearly an hour long, she was determined. So we sent Dad and Connor into the "Space" exhibit, and we waited, and waited, and waited, and finally came out with exactly the cat face she wanted. It was all worth it to Janelle.

So as you can see, despite my previous ramblings, we did have a fun March Break. Exhausting, yes, but between stretches of endless unpacking, we created some memorable moments. Now it is time to settle into real life. Where kids go to school, and dad goes to work, and mom.... unpacks. And organizes. And cleans. And BLOGS!!! I've successfully distracted myself for nearly an hour today. Only four more to go. I guess I really should unpack a box or two. Maybe I'll find the printer cable. Or the magazine rack for the bathroom. Or that book I was planning to read...

See you tomorrow!

My New House (Home? Someday...)

I got the jacuzzi! Most importantly, I was able to let go of what I thought I wanted in order for us to be sure we got the house we were meant to have. I'm actually glad we went through the whole exercise of taking one last chance on the other house. It allowed Chris to let go of his misgivings about the house we bought, and once again look at all the great advantages it presents to us. And it allowed me to put into action what I had been telling Chris all along and just believe that God had lead us to the right house, the house we were meant to have.

So here are a few pictures. I'm sure this is not any approximation of what this house will look like in six weeks time! I am spending my time dreaming about how I'll decorate it. Whenever I think about how much I'm going to miss my friends I try to turn my thoughts to how I'll set up the upstairs reading nook, or whether the front room will be a dining room, living room, or office. Or all three. It gives me something to look forward to. And for now that is what I need more than anything.

Never Simple

The house on Crocket Street is sold. I think I mentioned that in my last blog. The "Sold" sign is up, and we've made the big trek to London to purchase a new home. It was a miserable week, and I hope I don't have to shop for a house again for a long time, but we came home with a new house. I was planning to post a picture of the "Sold" sign beside a picture of my new house. But now I'm not sure which house is my new house.

Why can't life just be simple? We chose a house we loved. The owners didn't want to sell it to us. One day, and many tears of discouragement and frustration later, we found another house to fall in love with. This one we were able to reach a deal on. One day, and many dreams of relaxing in my new Jacuzzi later, my husband began his bout with Buyer's Remorse. I encouraged him to just enjoy it! Let the other house go, and start dreaming about the one we have! Sure, it's smaller and more expensive and requires a lot of work to really feel like home, but IT HAS A JACUZZI!!! And it is the house we have.

Several days later: Email from the realtor in London. The owners of the original house may be willing to sell with a 160 day closing. That is 5 months! And we already have a house! Well, maybe we can get a release from that deal. And maybe we can get the bigger, less expensive, more comfortable house (without the Jacuzzi) that we first wanted. And maybe the people who bought our house would exchange monetary compensation for a longer closin date. That's a LOT of MAYBEs!

I voiced my strong opinion that we just stick to the plan for a while. Then I decided to let it go. Life is never simple. But both of these houses are lovely, and in wonderful areas to raise a family. If I just sit back and let it happen (with my wonderful husband making all the phone calls), in just a few days I'll have a new house. And I'll either get to live in NB an extra 4 months, or I get a master suite with a Jacuzzi. It's a win-win situation. I'm a little curious about where and when I will move, but I'm not tied up in knots about it anymore.

Stay tuned for the outcome!