Double Digits

In two days my baby boy will be 10 years old. I swear, the past 10 years flew by in the blink of an eye! It seems like yesterday that I was longing to be a mother. Now here I am looking at my precious baby son, who can almost stand and look me in the eye!

Today when I said (probably for the fourteenth time) "I can't believe my baby boy is going to be 10", he replied "Mom, I am NOT a BABY!" But he is. He always will be, to me. I can now understand why my grandmother treated my dad the way she did. He was her baby. Even when he was 50 years old, she still saw that tiny face she held for the first time. My baby is a basketball player, and loves to ride his bike. He loves Lego, and Spiderman, and Wii. He does not like homework, or reading, or cleaning his room. He is friendly and kind, and adores his little sister. He isn't happy about leaving his cousins and grandparents and friends to move to London, but he has been wonderful about looking on the bright side of moving. I could not be more proud of my precious boy. He is growing up, but he will always be my baby. And I am a very lucky Mom.

My New House (Home? Someday...)

I got the jacuzzi! Most importantly, I was able to let go of what I thought I wanted in order for us to be sure we got the house we were meant to have. I'm actually glad we went through the whole exercise of taking one last chance on the other house. It allowed Chris to let go of his misgivings about the house we bought, and once again look at all the great advantages it presents to us. And it allowed me to put into action what I had been telling Chris all along and just believe that God had lead us to the right house, the house we were meant to have.

So here are a few pictures. I'm sure this is not any approximation of what this house will look like in six weeks time! I am spending my time dreaming about how I'll decorate it. Whenever I think about how much I'm going to miss my friends I try to turn my thoughts to how I'll set up the upstairs reading nook, or whether the front room will be a dining room, living room, or office. Or all three. It gives me something to look forward to. And for now that is what I need more than anything.

Never Simple

The house on Crocket Street is sold. I think I mentioned that in my last blog. The "Sold" sign is up, and we've made the big trek to London to purchase a new home. It was a miserable week, and I hope I don't have to shop for a house again for a long time, but we came home with a new house. I was planning to post a picture of the "Sold" sign beside a picture of my new house. But now I'm not sure which house is my new house.

Why can't life just be simple? We chose a house we loved. The owners didn't want to sell it to us. One day, and many tears of discouragement and frustration later, we found another house to fall in love with. This one we were able to reach a deal on. One day, and many dreams of relaxing in my new Jacuzzi later, my husband began his bout with Buyer's Remorse. I encouraged him to just enjoy it! Let the other house go, and start dreaming about the one we have! Sure, it's smaller and more expensive and requires a lot of work to really feel like home, but IT HAS A JACUZZI!!! And it is the house we have.

Several days later: Email from the realtor in London. The owners of the original house may be willing to sell with a 160 day closing. That is 5 months! And we already have a house! Well, maybe we can get a release from that deal. And maybe we can get the bigger, less expensive, more comfortable house (without the Jacuzzi) that we first wanted. And maybe the people who bought our house would exchange monetary compensation for a longer closin date. That's a LOT of MAYBEs!

I voiced my strong opinion that we just stick to the plan for a while. Then I decided to let it go. Life is never simple. But both of these houses are lovely, and in wonderful areas to raise a family. If I just sit back and let it happen (with my wonderful husband making all the phone calls), in just a few days I'll have a new house. And I'll either get to live in NB an extra 4 months, or I get a master suite with a Jacuzzi. It's a win-win situation. I'm a little curious about where and when I will move, but I'm not tied up in knots about it anymore.

Stay tuned for the outcome!

Christmas Time Has Come and Gone...

Christmas vacation seems to fly by more quickly every year! This year our vacation was WAY too busy. The first week that the kids were off school were spent finishing all the last minute preparations. I did enjoy the making cookies, the last minute trips to the store, and cooking my own turkey dinner on Christmas Eve. But once Christmas Eve arrives, I feel like I need to hang on for dear life for fear of falling off the runaway train that is our Christmas holiday.

Not that I don't want to spend Christmas with the ones I love. I do! I just wish they would all come to me! That will only be harder starting next year, when we live a good 17 hour drive from most of our family. This year we spent much of Christmas day at home, heading to Chris's Dad's around 3 p.m. Can't complain there! Yummy dinner, lots of laughter, more memories made. Then the next day we traveled to Rothesay where we shared Christmas dinner with my family at my mom's. I have to admit, no one's Christmas dinner tastes as much like "Christmas dinner" to me as my mom's does! The kids had a blast with cousins, we went to a great sliding hill, and ended the day with all the kids tucked in at my sister's, and a game of "Apples to Apples". Still no complaints -- just lots of fun!

But after Christmas, doesn't everyone just want to be home, surrounded by new toys, books, and the coziness of "my own home"? Not that visiting isn't wonderful, and I am so glad I got to see my cousin and her family, and my kids got to spend another day with their cousins. But it just doesn't feel like a relaxing vacation until we're snuggled up in our own home, enjoying each other. My friend Ellen came to New Brunswick from Indiana with her family, and she enjoyed her visit, but vowed at the end "We will NEVER travel at Christmas again!"

We did have a week at home to enjoy our vacation. The kids played with their toys, and I read almost a whole book. We spent New Year's Eve with many of our closest friends, and the kids stayed up to ring in the New Year (Janelle's first time -- she was so proud!) But this year Boxing Week was spent frantically cleaning for a house showing, then negotiating an offer, then accepting the offer, then settling into the realization that we actually finally sold our house. A bit of a shock to the system! So now life is all about getting Christmas "packed away" so we can go to London and find a new house. Chris went back to work today, but the kids don't go until Wednesday. I am in the midst of taking down the Christmas tree. Christmas has definitely come and gone.

So next year we will have to seriously consider whether or not we want to travel home for Christmas. It will be a much bigger commitment! And if we don't we will have lots of time at home, playing with our toys, reading our books, and enjoying our togetherness. But will I also be writing a blog about how much I miss my family at Christmas? Probably! It will definitely take some thought...

Busy December

As I've already written, I LOVE Christmas. I think I've made that abundantly clear. And I therefore love December. I do not love the stress of December. It seems as soon as December begins, the hectic pace begins. There was the piano recital, the office party, the 5 Christmas concerts we will have attended, getting the Christmas tree, decorating the Christmas tree, coordinating family gatherings for Christmas, all on top of our regular family schedule of work, school, volunteering, homework, piano lessons, basketball practice, and church commitments. This is not even taking into account Christmas SHOPPING and Christmas BAKING, and the other things that the children have decided that, since we've done them once, they are traditions. Like making a gingerbread house. That is on the to-do list for after school ends.

This year is different. This year I am a 100% stay-at-home Mom. It has made a world of difference. I don't have 15-20 other little ones for whom I feel bound to make Christmas special as well as my own two darlings. No Christmas concert to plan. No "last day Christmas pajama party" to prepare for. No Christmas crafts to research and get ready to guide little hands through. I have to admit that I do miss a lot of this, but it clearly did add to my "December stress". There are at least a hundred things that are usually on my December schedule that are not this year. And I have so much TIME to do all the million things that do need to be done!

So this year I am making a conscious effort to ENJOY this beautiful season, and all that goes with it. This afternoon is a perfect example: Sunday afternoon, and there are lots of gifts to be wrapped and plenty of baking to do. But I didn't. I decided that while my children were happy playing outside (and later watching the latest Christmas "Veggietale"), and my husband was busy working so he'll be able to take time off over Christmas, I would allow myself to sit by my Christmas tree and get lost in a book. It was heavenly! It didn't feel like "busy December". It felt like a peaceful Sunday afternoon! I don't think I can remember having one of those in December!

Tomorrow morning I'll wrap gifts, run out to a store or two, maybe even start some Christmas baking. And I'll enjoy it, because I won't be in a panic. And I'll appreciate it, because I understand the stress working moms are under. Who knows if I'll have a December like this again, so I'm going to love it while I can. And next Friday, when the kids come home from school excited and ready to celebrate the season, I'll be ready to celebrate it with them (I hope!) This will be our last Christmas in this house, and we're going to make it a Christmas to remember.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!

I LOVE Christmas! I would start singing carols and trimming my house in early November if it were up to me. I love the warm feeling that the smell of evergreen, the glow of candlelight, the sound of "O Holy Night" and the taste of peppermint hot cocoa brings. I even like Christmas shopping! The bustle of like-minded people crowding holly-decked stores while the strains of Amy Grant's Christmas album (one of the four) beckon faintly through the hubbub — well, it energizes me! I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!

Unfortunately, I live with Scrooge. He is a sweet and adorable Scrooge, but undeniably a Scrooge nonetheless. He doesn't like any hint of Christmas to enter his sphere of reference before December 1st. Christmas music in November? Humbug! Red and green decorating the house? Not yet! Dragging him to a shopping mall during the festive season is a painful experience for all involved — limited to once a year at most! And any mention of that most profane of all four-letter-words (SNOW) sends him spiraling into a depression.

So I have to be covert about it. I dig out the Christmas CDs about mid-November and listen to them through the day when he isn't home. The kids and I starting reading our millions of Christmas books around American Thanksgiving. And then the decorations start coming out. A few here and there, so he might not notice (I try to leave the snowmen for last).

But this year, I have to admit, my darling Ebenezer has been somewhat gracious about Yuletide preparations. We went Christmas shopping a couple of times in November, and he hardly complained, even admitting it might be a better time to do it, with smaller crowds and more selection (although he was drained of all energy afterward, as if I had forced him to endure some inhumane ritual!) He has been adament about "No Christmas Music when I'm around", but he made me some MP3 CDs of my favourite Christmas albums, so I can put one on the new Ipod/CD players and just let it play all day. He only made a passing mention of the first decorations I put out (one being a countdown to Christmas clock, which he didn't really appreciate). And when I suggested surprising the kids by putting up the downstairs "kids tree" on November 30, he was all for it! So I did, and subsequently decorated the whole house with my favourite Christmas trinkets. When he came home there was the comment that "it sure is Christmas-y in here", but no real complaints. He even agreed to go get the real tree next week before my parents arrive for a weekend visit. Maybe there is a small bit of Christmas spirit lurking somewhere inside that stony exterior.

My husband and I have had different experiences to shape our appreciation of the Christmas holidays. But he knows how very much I love this season, and as much as I feel the chasm of difference between us, I know he tries. And knowing this makes me love and appreciate him all the more! He knows that at this stage of our lives the most important part of Christmas is what we make it for our children: a celebration of the most important Birth our world has known, and an opportunity to worship joyfully while expressing love to those we hold dear. Yes, for them it is still about the presents and parades and decorations and Santa, despite how many times a day I remind them of WHY we are celebrating. I know that they understand that at our house Christmas isn't about Santa, it's about Jesus. And that isn't because I start playing carols in November. It's because they are lucky enough to have a Mom and Dad who agree about what celebrating Christmas means — even if our calendars are a little off!

I love you, Honey! Merry Christmas!

40 Sucks!

I had a birthday a couple of weeks ago. I'm not sure how this happened, but for some reason when you subtract my birthday from today's date, it looks like 40 years have past. But how could that possibly be? I mean, people in their 40s are OLD! They were my parents and their friends when I was a teenager. They were our teachers in high school—the ones who had been teaching FOREVER. When I got married they were the older couples with kids who looked wistfully at my husband and I as the lucky ones, who could go to a movie whenever they wanted to. I'm not any of these people!

Although, I guess I could have teenagers. I've been married 13 years, and I didn't get married until I was 26. I have been teaching FOREVER — maybe not consistently, but it does feel like it's been a long time! And I have to admit, I do envy those young couples who can hop off together at a moment's notice. So... maybe I am 40.

Even though it feels like I just turned 16 and finally got my driver's license. Angst filled days at university don't feel that long ago. Wasn't I shopping for a wedding dress last week? And it seems like my thirtieth birthday party, when I was nicely round and pregnant with my son, was just days before my fortieth birthday party — and somehow that baby grew 4 1/2 feet!

Time flies. We say it all the time, but it still takes us by surprise. Not long ago my baby girl wrapped her tiny hand around my finger. Now those tiny fingers are getting ready for their first piano recital. A reminder to treasure every moment! Because if this keeps up, my baby girl and I will be shopping for HER wedding dress... next week?

The lovely bouquet of lollipops above was a gift from two hilarious "over 40" ladies that I know. It has been the source of much laughter, and a great sugar fix (much better than a dozen Halloween chocolate bars!) Knowing these two ladies as I do, I'm sure that they knew I'd "get" the joke— 40 doesn't really suck. 40 can be great if I want it to be! And 40 sucks can be great, too!