I'm Still Here!

Time flies by to quickly. How many times have I said it? It doesn't feel like three months since I've written a blog post, but it has been more than that. Today life looks very different than it did three months ago. There is snow on the ground, for one thing. I am sitting at my kitchen table, looking out the window at three children happily building a snow fort in the back yard, while light snowflakes softly falls around them. Our basement is finished, finally, and we have been thoroughly enjoying the extra space it has provided. Connor has somewhat recovered from the disappointment of not playing basketball this year. He still hopes to be part of a school team sometime in the next couple of years, but meanwhile he is enjoying more free time. He loves being part of the church youth group, and is going to his first winter retreat in Muskoka next month. Janelle still loves taking piano and dance. Last weekend she was part of a huge group of dancers from her studio who performed the half time show at a London Lightning basketball game. My kids have big smiles on their faces today. And that's what makes me smile.

I am sitting at my kitchen table because I got a laptop for Christmas! Now I can blog anywhere! And I will — I promise! But today the blog post is short because tomorrow it's Christmas again. Tomorrow we host the Haines family Christmas, so I have some work to do. Cleaning, groceries, putting all the gifts away. Life is busy as always, but I didn't want 2012 to end without one more blog post, just to remind everyone that I'm still here. Happy New Year!!

Brokenhearted Basketball Player

Connor loves basketball. He has loved it since he was a tiny boy shooting hoops with dad and his Little Tikes basketball net. He started playing in the YMCA youth league in Fredericton in grade one, and last year he played on his first competitive team. He loved every minute of it, right up to the heartbreaking finish at the OBA tournament in March.

Try-outs for this year's team were last week. He spent Monday and Thursday evenings running drills and shooting hoops with his buddies, most of whom were on his team last year. He came home exhausted each night, but excited about the prospects for the coming year. Chris and I worried a bit about whether or not he is ready for basketball at this level. There are no equal playing time rules this year, and we really didn't want to see him spend the year on the bench. But I thought surely the boys from last year's team had the best shot at making the team this year.

The team roster was to be posted on the website on Saturday by 8:00 p.m. We spent the day at Canada's Wonderland, and didn't get home until 11:30. Chris and I checked immediately, but the site had not been updated. I checked a number of times before I finally went to bed, but the roster was empty. When I woke up the next morning, Chris was reading his iPod. "He didn't make it," he said. My heart sank. How would we tell Connor? We spent 20 minutes discussing our strategy for breaking this inevitably devastating news to our precious son before heading downstairs to find him watching TV with his sister. He turned to us with red eyes and said "Did you see the website?" He had already checked as soon as he woke up. I opened my arms and he fell into them and cried. My boy's heart was broken and there wasn't one thing I could do about it.

He wasn't angry. He didn't ask "Why?" He didn't blame anyone or begrudge any of his friends who had made the team. He even admitted that it was better to not be on the team at all than to ride bench all season. He was just so sad.

We had planned to fall back on the opportunity this would give Connor to play on his school basketball team this year. School ball is not nearly as competitive as OBA basketball at this level, and he would certainly do well representing Lambeth Public School. However, with the current situation in Ontario schools, it is unlikely there will be a basketball team this year. Or possibly next year, for that matter. And that means no basketball at all for Connor. And that breaks my heart.

I wish it was just about not making this team. I wish it wasn't also about not playing basketball at all. I wish it wasn't about no longer seeing all the friends he made on the team last year (They don't go to his school, or even live near enough to get together easily). I wish Connor's self-esteem was not so wrapped up in being a basketball player. I pray that it isn't, in the end. I pray that he knows that he is an amazing kid who is good at so many things, whose parents and so many others love him and appreciate his kind heart and great attitude, who just happens to like to play basketball. And I also hope he continues to love basketball. I'll miss hearing the rhythmic bounce, bounce, bounce on the driveway, and seeing his ecstatic grin when he makes a great shot.

Connor recovered amazingly well yesterday. He showered and got ready for church, even joking around with us at breakfast. We took his buddy with us when we went out for brunch after church, and they spent the afternoon together. His only other mention of the sad news was last night when Janelle was talking about the class Chris is taking on Monday nights. "I guess Monday's won't be so hard for you now, Mom," not adding "now that I won't have basketball practice". I know how he's hurting inside, but I know he's trying to make the best of it and keep a smile on his face. That's my sweet boy.

Being a parent is HARD!

Beautiful Dancer

This is my daughter.

 

She loves to sing, dance, and play the piano (unless you mean practicing the piano).

 

She is beautiful, strong, and confident, far more than her mother was at her age.

 

She loves purple and mismatched socks and Justin Bieber.

 

She is easy-going and fun and her laughter is contagious.

 

She is one of the greatest joys of my life.

 

And last month she turned nine years old. Wow. Time just sneaks up on you, doesn't it?

Disappearing Act

Did summer happen this year? Clearly my blog missed it. But I almost feel like I did, too. What happened to "Lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer"? I don't remember many of those as the last several weeks flew past me on the road to this "Back to school week". And here we are in September. How did that happen?

One thing the kids and I realized this year is that summer vacation is shorter in Ontario than in New Brunswick. More than a week shorter this year! Cousins and friends back home finished school a whole week before my kids were set free, and while Connor and Janelle dressed in new clothes and toted new backpacks back to Lambeth Public School yesterday, most New Brunswick students didn't climb back on the school bus until today. Nine weeks. Nine short weeks that this year were carved up into three very easily defined portions. Weeks one, two and three we were settling into summer, enduring unbelievable temperatures, attending a week of day camp (basketball for Connor, church day camp for Janelle and I), and packing for vacation (with my annual case of strep throat, I might add). Weeks four, five and six we were driving to New Brunswick, visiting family and friends, enjoying my sister's cottage, and all to soon saying goodbyes and heading back to Ontario (this time with some shopping in Freeport and a visit to the Basketball Hall of Fame thrown in to make the trip more fun). When we got home I could hardly believe week seven was already here, and it was time for Janelle to head to theatre camp, and Connor and I to volunteer one more week at our church's day camp. That week flew by, and we found ourselves in week eight, Janelle still at theatre camp preparing for her stage debut as a seagull in Finding Nemo, Chris home sick most of the week, and me bribing Connor to go back-to-school shopping. Chris took most of last week of for vacation, so we decided to take a long-promised camping trip to the Pinery, a provincial park on Lake Huron. The kids were over-the-moon excited, and I was too, until I started to feel the beginnings of Chris's flu taking over. I went anyway, and slept in the tent while the rest canoed and rode bikes, enjoyed the Smores and my hubby's Coleman stove cooking, read in my camp chair, and did manage to head down to the beach for a swim. We arrived home just a few hours before the Moores arrived for a weekend visit. Thankfully they are one of the few families that I am happy to have staying at my house despite feeling miserable, knowing they are happy to help Chris with dinners and just hang out on the deck and visit and play Wizard, while our kids ride bikes and play video games and sleep in the tent in our backyard. Ellen and I did manage a shopping trip to Winners and Homesense and a girls dinner out, coming home to find our husbands had fed the kids and built a fire in the new firepit. Nothing like ending the summer with Smores and the Moores.

My only "Back to School" picture. My lens
had fogged up in the humidity, and as usual,
we were too behind schedule to snap
another.

And so here we are. The first day of school was my first day feeling a bit like myself again. Connor got the teacher he wanted, but didn't get in his best buddy's class. Janelle got the teacher she wanted, and is back in class with her friend from Grade 2. All in all, they are both happy. At least they were yesterday. Who knows what today will bring. Who knows what the rest of the year will bring, but I'm looking forward to finding out. Despite summer's disappearing act, we made some new memories, and I know that before long I'll be writing a "last day of school" post about how once again the school year has flown by. A good reminder to slow down and enjoy every moment. I think I'll go downstairs and sit on my front porch and listen to the quiet for half an hour, until my house once again will fill with the chatter of my favourite voices.

Dad's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads in my life!

The kids and I did our best to make today a day of pampering for Chris. We made blueberry pancakes for breakfast, and set up his new anti-gravity lawn chair in the family room (since a thunder storm was raging outside). Janelle sang him a special song of her own composition. The kids watched a movie with him after church (while he sat in his anti-gravity chair in front of the TV). He had a nap. We made his favourite foods for supper: steak and mashed potatoes with onions, East Coast sea scallops, and grilled zucchini, with fresh strawberry shortcake for dessert. I hope he feels well-spoiled.

I talked to my own dad on the phone. I hate to be so far away on these family holidays, but it helps to know I saw my dad and got many of his awesome hugs only six weeks ago, and six weeks from now I'll be with him again. This weekend I have been particularly missing home because there is a new family member there, and I am aching to meet her. My little brother got a precious Father's Day gift this year -- He brought his new daughter, Molly Clara, home from the hospital today. I am so happy for Brad and Jody and Hailey, but I am feeling a bit sorry for myself. The rest of our family met her the day she was born. I have to wait six more weeks. But I know those weeks will fly, and I plan to make this visit count!

My husband is ending this Father's Day in one of his favourite ways. He is watching basketball with his son. I can smell popcorn and hear excited voices and I know they are both as happy as can be. Connor's bedtime passed about 10 minutes ago, but I'm not sending him upstairs just yet. They are having so much fun together, and I think they both deserve a few extra minutes on this special day.

Happy Father's Day

Belated Happy Mother's Day

When Chris and I chose our wedding date, the last thing on our minds was the fact that our anniversary would forever coincide with the weekend of Mother's Day. For that reason, the second weekend in May is always a pretty busy one at our house, with Chris taking the kids out to shop for me and then spending all day Sunday pampering me... It's a rough life! Meanwhile, we always try to fit in some kind of anniversary celebration. This year is was lunch out, and a play at the Grand Theatre on Friday evening -- and for the first time, we didn't have to get a babysitter! The kids were fine at home alone for the evening. What a milestone!

This morning I realized that I had neglected to post anything on my blog for Mother's Day, so I'm making up for it today. I have the world's best mom to celebrate! And she is my most devoted reader, so I know she'll see this today. Sorry it's a few days late, Mom. For over 40 years you have been absolutely the best mother I could have asked for. You gave Tracy, Brad and I beautiful childhoods, and you have given us all unwavering support during our adulthoods. My children are blessed to have you for a grandmother, and even more blessed that you are the example I have to follow of motherhood. I love you, Mom! I'm so glad I got to give you your Mother's Day gift (a little early) in person this year. I hope you had a wonderful day!

Sweet Sixteen

May 11, 1996 dawned cold and rainy in Rothesay, New Brunswick — and for some crazy reason I didn't care one bit! I laid in bed for a few minutes just to savour the uniqueness of the day, took a call from a friend in (who knew?) London, Ontario, and then got up, showered and got ready to go to the beauty parlour. In just a few hours I would marry the man I had waited twenty-six years to meet at the front of a church. I could not have been happier.

May 11, 2012 dawned sunny and warm in London, Ontario — and I woke up with a smile on my face. I lingered in bed long enough for Chris to ask me if the kids didn't have school today. They did, so I pulled myself out of bed and began the morning routine of making coffee, breakfasts and lunches and coaxing kids out the door. Connor wanted to ride his Ripstick to school; Janelle caught a ride with our neighbours. After I shooed them out the door I carried coffee upstairs to my husband of sixteen years and asked if he wanted me to make him a sandwich or take him out to lunch. He chose the latter. I picked him up at noon and we went to Blackfriars Bistro, a restaurant not far from Chris's office, but far enough to offer free parking (a true bonus in this city!). He had been there before; I had not. The food was delicious, the service was friendly but slow (and I came home with a second sandwich when they brought me the wrong one the first time), and the company was my favourite. Our lunch conversations have changed over the past sixteen years, but we would still rather be with each other than with anyone else.

I planned to scan a wedding pic to add here (can you
believe I don't have even one digital picture of our wedding?),
but my scanner was being tempermental so this will have to
do for now.

After lunch, Chris needed to drop something off at City Hall, so I waited for him as he ran inside. When we pulled up I noticed a wedding party standing on the front steps, waiting, I assumed, for the bride and groom to emerge from the building. Sure enough, before Chris returned to the van, the lovely couple appeared, stopped for a few photos, and disappeared into a waiting decorated car. Chris hopped in with me just before they drove past us. It was almost like looking back in time. I wanted to tell them they picked the perfect day to get married. They are enjoying a sunny wedding day. Mine was raining and cold, although I barely noticed (my bridesmaids did in their off-the-shoulder dresses!), and we were stranded by a snowstorm on the first day of our honeymoon. But May 11 is the perfect day to get married. I only hope the newlyweds are still as happy together in sixteen years as my groom and I are today.